Down Under

01 Clip a Koala to Your Collar Episode 122nd June 1998 Meet Suzie, 18, from Pittsburgh, as she stands alone on a narrow bridge that overlooks a gorgeous waterfall on the island of Maui - that's Hawaii, you know. She's a blond cutie, and she's waiting to meet her travel mates. Speak of the devil. Here comes Shayne, 22, from Canada. He gets an eyeful of sweet Sue and privately confesses, ""My hormones are in full gear!"" Now Piggy, 25, from England you know lovie, strolls up with her backpack. She's got a wild mane of curly-cue hair and explains that her father named her Piggy because she popped out of the womb all pink and squealing like a pig. Isn't that… cute. And here comes Kefla, 23, a handsome African-American joker. Hello, Christina! She's 21, and an introspective hipster from LA. Five down, one to go. And here he is! Roadie number six is Chadwick, 24, from Colorado. He's a hunk of hunkiness. Now look - here come Dan and Tara - from the Northern Trail! You know what that's all about. Dan and Tara collect all the cash from the new crew a 02 What a Drag Episode 222nd June 1998 The Roadies roll over to the Stonewall where they are greeted by a seven foot tall drag queen. Can you believe there is actually a man under there somewhere? It's mind boggling. Our diva explains the next mission: you will split into two teams and perform a drag review. The winner of this heat will perform in Sydney's Frocks on the Rocks gala - in front of 10,000 people! Can you say, Pricilla Queen of the Desert?! The boys are a little nervous about the prospect - especially Kefla. It's time to bend that gender! Chad confesses, ""I have no experience with gay culture. And Suzie explains, ""I've never been there!"" Well buckle up, because there's not turning back now… The Roadies stroll over to a local costume house, shopping for those new Frocks. While trying on a glittery jumpsuit, Kefla confesses, ""I don't want to do this too well, because then the guys will be asking for my phone number."" You think you're that good, huh Kefla? Shayne has found a fab outfit and wig, but no shoes. 03 Got Milk? Episode 329th June 1998 You know the Winnie is difficult to maneuver. It's not like jumping behind the wheel of your Honda Civic. You've got to take those turns wide. And if you find your little bootie landing in Australia, and you find a Winnie waiting for you at the curb (packed with funtime gear) you'll quickly see that the steering wheel is on the right, while traffic flows on the left side of the street -- how's that for a brain teaser?! So you can certainly understand why we couldn't let the Road Rules cadets jump behind the wheel without checking out their skills first -- it's time for a driving test! Christina and Suzie are relegated to the back of the bus right off the bat -- these girls have no experience driving a stick, and this is not the place to learn. Kefla takes a nice turn behind the wheel, passing the test with flying colors. As do Chad and Shayne. Now it's time for la Pig. She's not doing too well. She's cursing. Luckily, no other cars are on the road. They must have heard she was comin 04 Where's There's Smoke, There's a Mission Episode 46th July 1998 This week's episode begins with a Piggy pity party. We don't mean to be hard on Pig, but can it really be so bad traveling across a gorgeous country packed with adventures designed just for you? Maybe it can. She's on the phone in the lobby of the youth hostel, crying to her friend back home. ""They think I'm boring and I just don't understand them. And the girls are all so skinny. Christina is a rake and I'm thigh girl! I'm too sensitive for my own good."" Perhaps... Later in the day, Piggy and Susie hit the pavement for a little power walk. Piggy takes the opportunity to confess her dilemma - you guys are ostracizing me! Susie denies the accusation, but Piggy points out that most of the time she doesn't understand the American pop references the others all share. Susie reminds Piggy it's pretty impossible for them to explain everything -- and Piggy agrees. What to do, what to do... Meanwhile, Christina is feeling like she just drank a quart of bad milk. Shayne escorts her down the s 05 Fast Food Drive Through Episode 513th July 1998 This week's mission takes the all-time cake for layers of complication. It's really one of our most creative missions ever. You're gonna love it... The Roadies motor on over to Brisbane where they park it in a sea-side trailer resort. The engine isn't even cool when the manager of the park brings Chadwick a letter. It's from Skye, his ex-girlfriend. Shayne suggests Chad read the ominous letter after dinner, but Chad ignores this suggestion and strolls away on his own, tearing at the envelope. Chad privately reveals the contents of the letter: Skye is mad at Chad for leaving her without saying goodbye - she feels Chad owes her something. Chad explains that Skye wanted marriage and a family and he couldn't offer here those things - not just yet anyway. Chad and Skye decided to separate from each other and meditate on the situation. But soon, Skye was dating other boys and Chad was devastated. Chad feels he owes Skye nothing. Later that night, Piggy tries to comfort Chad, reminding 06 Aliens Abduct Road Rulers! Episode 620th July 1998 A full moon illuminates the night as Kefla strolls into the Winnie and discovers the latest clue. Several issues of the ""Weekly World News"" are fanned out, each sporting an alien with an over-sized cranium on its cover. The headline states boldly, ""ROAD RULERS TO PROBE AUSSIE ALIEN ABDUCTEES!"" Further details indicate that the group's mission is to expose the abductees' intergalactic nightmare. Christina utters seductively, ""I love aliens."" Maybe we don't know everything about her. Shayne mentions that ""the group fund is pretty much squat."" They need cold hard cash, and they need it now! So off to Noosa Heads they go. A little navigating takes them to their latest stop, a lovely two story lodge where parrots will eat right from your hand. But we can't spend the day feeding wildlife, now can we? We have a mission to complete! The Rulers travel to the ""Weekly World News"" offices and are greeted by a member of the staff. He elaborates on their mission, ""We have some people here who hav 07 How Not to Drown in the Ocean of Piggy Tension! Episode 727th July 1998 The group does a little Dolphin feeding. Christina even says goodbye to them in dolphin-speak. Something I won't even attempt to quote. On the ferry back, Piggy leans on the railing alone. Seems her biggest problem is with Christina. ""She trivializes things that I've said. It makes me feel sad."" Christina and Susie have a tough time dealing with the Piggy situation. After all, they both like her. Later on at a restaurant, a waitress serves up the next clue. Was that on the menu? Part of the clue states, ""It's so dark outside you might as well be blind."" Luckily, inside the box are Zippo lighters, each equipped with a mini-flashlight. I guess smokers tend to get lost. Outside, they locate an audio cassette. Playing it reveals they're going to be ""splash test dummies"". In other words... lifeguards! Time for a little mouth-to-mouth. Sounds cool, but that's tomorrow. We've still got the night to dance away! The Rulers visit a club where a youth-challenged woman hits on Kefla. His opi 08 Teaching to Learn Episode 83rd August 1998 The Rulers head to a club to check out a band. The music is pumping, the energy high, but Kefla sits with his back to the wall, purposely distancing himself from the others. After the show, the gang chats over a few glasses of wine. Her inhibition waning, Piggy tells Chad that he's ""very, very sexy."" Waiter, another bottle please. The mood is relaxed, pleasant. Once again though, Kefla decides not to partake. He explains, ""Being the only black traveling with five other whites, it's kind of hard. I can't be around my black people. I can't listen to the music I want to."" Chad tries to understand Kefla's growing disillusionment with the others, but refuses to show sympathy. He sees it as Kefla's issue to deal with, not his. Kefla takes solace in a phone call back home. ""I probably see one or two black people every seven hours."" He brings up Piggy and the fact that her mother's half-black. How does she deal with it? She states, ""I take the white advantages and reject the black disadvant 09 Croc Farming and Susie Blossoming Episode 910th August 1998 The Rulers go bowling! Kefla notices, ""Susie has changed over the trip tremendously. She's kind of breaking free of a lot of things her parents told her were wrong."" Christina adds the insight, ""I think I may have affected Susie a bit. She sort of looks to me for being strong."" Proving that those assessments are accurate, Susie steals a pair of bowling shoes. ""Christina calls my evolution on this trip a downward spiral."" Could this be the beginning of a crime wave... The following day, a cassette is discovered. Don't you love those things? This one states that the next mission ""can sink its teeth into you."" The Winnie departs for a crocodile farm. On the way, Piggy dyes the tips of Susie's pig tails red. Foreshadowing blood? They pull into the Koorana Croc Farm, a place that 3,000 croc's call home. Shayne starts to get nervous. ""I think I'll pee myself today…The other missions I've had an open mind…This is the only one that appears to me that it's not going to be fun."" Pulling to 10 A Ghost Thrives Better Than Piggy Drives Episode 1017th August 1998 Susie gets a tattoo and lets her behavior veer toward mischievous as she rolls along the downward spiral. Piggy manages to get an Australian driver's license. I wonder which of these occurrences is more dangerous... ""I don't know what got into Susie, but I kind of like it,"" remarks Piggy as the cast takes turns inspecting her new tattoo. After arriving at the hostel, Piggy and Susie take the Winnie for some gas while the others stay behind to chow down on free barbecue. Parking in front of a gas station, they're informed that they're going to have to wait about twenty minutes until the truck in front of them is done filling up. No problem, we'll just back the Winnie up and wait at the --- BANG! That sounded a lot like the Winnie backing into a car. Showcasing her grasp of the English language, Piggy blurts out, ""Oh f--k, f--k, f--k, f--k."" Exiting the Winnie, they discover the damage: a busted tail-light on someone's car. They find out that the owner of the vehicle works at the h 11 An Order of Footie With a Side of Flirting Episode 1124th August 1998 Susie reads the news that the last voyage in the Winnie will take place the next day. Time to gather up all belongings and turn in the keys. Shayne wonders, ""What are we going to do without the Winnie?"" Hmmm... ""It's kind of sad to say goodbye to the Winnie, because it's been our home for a long time,"" comments Christina. The Winnie is unloaded and one last picture is snapped. That night, a manila envelope is delivered containing airline tickets to Melbourne. Also in the package is the next clue, stating ""Get your kicks playing Aussie Rules Football with the mystery six."" A bewildered Christina admits, ""I have no idea what Aussie Rules Football could even be."" Arriving in the beautiful city of Melbourne, they travel to Xavier college and meet Shane: professional football star and their coach for the upcoming game. Piggy is immediately smitten, ""Shane is really good looking. He's beautiful."" Wait a second, let's back up for a moment…what game? The Road Rules / Aussie Rules Challen 12 Australian Rules Romance Episode 1231st August 1998 Susie and Piggy vie for the attention of Shane, their ""babe-licious"" coach. The competition for the big game turns out to be the Road Rules All-Stars: Chris, Belou, Emily, Oscar, Dan, and Roni. Football in Australia. Relentless, violent, and the current mission for Road Rules Six. Under a scorching sun, the two teams collide. But before we dive into game specifics, let's go over the fundamental rules of the game: when running with the ball, the player must touch it to the ground every ten meters. If you catch the ball, you can stop and take a free kick or run with it. Most importantly, though, when you kick it between the two big sticks, it's six points. Got it? Okay, let's get back to the game... Running, passing, and kicking, both teams are eager to claim the championship trophies. Kefla tackles Dan fiercely while Coach Shane shouts from the sideline. Though vociferous with the others, Shane quiets down when fine-tuning Susie's game. She comments, ""Take one look into those baby 13 End of the Road Episode 137th September 1998 Susie survives flirt-mania and a bit of kissing with Coach Shane. The closeness of the All-Stars has Christina contemplating the future of her own cast. ""It's making me look at my group and wonder if we're going to be like that."" Over lunch, the girls discuss the Coach Shane situation. Susie fondly recalls, ""Did you hear him say, 'Do you want me to run you a bath?'…Don't even kid me."" The reality of their departure hits Susie, ""Oh my God! I don't want to leave. I'm not leaving!"" Sorry, Susie, you're in this thing until the end. That's another thing bugging her. The trip is actually coming to an end. ""I'm very sad about leaving everyone. I really don't want to leave these five people."" At the hostel, Susie asks the other Shayne if he'll miss her. ""When you're gone, I'll probably just cry a lot."" Joking or not, at least he's showing some emotion. Kefla is being his typical self: withdrawn and quiet, something that adds to Christina's growing frustration, ""I just feel like our boys