Season 5

01 Mark's One Man Show Episode 121st February 2025 Mark's life flashes before his very eyes, at the whim of Bob and Wade. 02 When Was That Again? Episode 223rd February 2025 When is this? Where am I? Who's asking me all these trivia questions? Why is that man putting a condom on a bullet? And why is that other man... BALD?! 03 Who Want Million? Episode 327th February 2025 I want million, you want million, we all want million! (Celebrity guest appearances by Bob's Dad and Benjamin Franklin.) 04 Right In The Sauce Box Episode 42nd March 2025 Things are gettin' real saucy between Wade, Bob, Mark, George & Martha Washington, skating flies, briefcase puppies, and a whole lot of ketchup. 05 Hide The Penny Episode 57th March 2025 For the price of one penny, you could have all the toy trains, crusty socks, and dead bodies imaginable! 06 September 10th Episode 69th March 2025 Keep your hands, arms, feet, Pokémon and Blockbuster cards inside Mark's time machine at all times. And remember, every action has an equal and opposite distraction. 07 Our Shirts Are Out Episode 713th March 2025 A moist bear and a hot fox, both with soapy eyes, walk into a bar in Australia. One orders a "Kadoova", the other orders a "Chump." And let me tell ya, that bartender got the greatest e****ion you've ever seen in your entire life. 08 We've Never Done This Before Episode 816th March 2025 Look at my ice! It's time for some good ol' fashioned icebreakers with Bob! 09 The Best, The Worst Episode 920th March 2025 For better or for worse, this episode is about the best and the worst. 10 Illegal Advice Too Episode 1023rd March 2025 This episode of Distractible pleads the fifth. Any further information will require the presence of a lawyer. Or just get Bob or Wade, that should be good enough. 11 Faster or Slower? Episode 1127th March 2025 Whether you like it fast or slow, Distractible is here to satisfy. 12 Animal Noises Too Episode 1230th March 2025 This episode is brought to you by Walmart Subscriptions. Groceries and essentials, delivered on repeat. Welcome to your Walmart. Old Mark-plier had another farm. E. 13 Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati Episode 133rd April 2025 The dudes are bringing it back home with this one. 14 Nah, I'd Win (Part 3) Episode 146th April 2025 WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD, large quantities of beans and hyperventilation. 15 Slice of Life Episode 1510th April 2025 The Distractible Time Machine™ is still running, and this time Wade is in the driver's seat. 16 Even More Broken News Episode 1613th April 2025 The internet's most reliable news source is back, but maybe not better than ever. 17 Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes Episode 1717th April 2025 Wade may have screwed up, but at least he's got the voice of an absolute angel. 18 The Perfecter Crime Episode 1820th April 2025 Orange Is The New Distract. 19 Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk Episode 1924th April 2025 The greatest public domain story ever told finally comes to the big screen. 20 The Even More Perfecter Crime Episode 2027th April 2025 Markiplier presents, "A Heist with Bob & Wade." 21 Weird (Part 4) Episode 211st May 2025 Can Wade sneak his oozing and thronging weirdness past Mark and Bob? 22 Who Is Us? Episode 224th May 2025 All of the Distractible crossovers you've dreamt off, jam-packed into one episode! 23 idk, some "Q"s Episode 238th May 2025 W asks B & M some grade A "Q"s. 24 Three Word Sales Pitch Episode 2411th May 2025 Just because we don't have merch right now, doesn't mean we still can't try to sell you stuff! 25 Mark's Big Dumb Word Game Episode 2515th May 2025 Mark wreaks revenge and havoc on Bob and Wade for all those definitely, totally not deserved losses. 26 A Disgusting Episode Episode 2619th May 2025 Well, that was gross... 27 Don't Get Me Started Episode 2722nd May 2025 Is Mark's masochism, Bob's parental instinct, and Wade's Scottish accent enough to take down 100 gorillas? And we're only getting started... 28 Peekaboo! Episode 2826th May 2025 Chef Wade is back in the kitchen serving up some more hot and steamy euphemisms, with a side of red onions and corn off the cob. 29 We Hate These States Episode 2929th May 2025 The Yankee Doodle Daddies decide to do some long needed gerrymandering. 30 Bob's Small, Even Dumber Word Game Episode 301st June 2025 The guys play a word game so dumb, even a mechanic fixing Wade's plumbing could do it. 31 Somehow, Even More Broken News Episode 315th June 2025 The number one trusted news source for pregnant people, meat puppets, and parrots is back! 32 Sometimes We Just Chat Episode 329th June 2025 What's better than this? Guys being dudes. 33 They've Gone Too Far! Episode 3312th June 2025 If the tech ain't broke, don't fix it. Unless you're Wade, in which case everything is broken. 34 Nah, I'd Win (Part 4) Episode 3415th June 2025 Everyone's favorite role-playing game just got a whole lot more bald. 35 Sisyphean (Sis-uh-fee-uhn) Episode 3520th June 2025 Bob and Wade must carry the weight of Mark's game on their shoulders. 36 Frog Sticks! Episode 3622nd June 2025 What do frogs, cluckin', Franz Ferdinand, and loud moans all have in common? Just ask Wade... 37 20 "Simple" Questions Episode 3726th June 2025 It's been quite some time since Bob last decided torture Mark and Wade with trivia. Let's fix that right now. 38 Gaming News Episode 3829th June 2025 Three "expert" gamers share their "expertise" on the past, present, and future of the gaming world. 39 I Farted During This Episode Episode 393rd July 2025 How well do the guys know their own show? Also, do you smell something... 40 Fourth of Poo-ly Episode 407th July 2025 What's more American than releasing a 4th of July special 3 days after the 4th of July? 41 I Miss The Old Distractible Episode 4110th July 2025 I liked Distractible before it was cool. 42 I See Two Paths Episode 4213th July 2025 Look no further, you've come to the right place to gain sacred knowledge about crows, plants, geese, and zombies. 43 Don't Google Pin Buttock Episode 4318th July 2025 "Bard" Bob doth take Wadeiam Shakespeare and Markbeth out for a night at the theatre. 44 Wade Lied To Us Episode 4420th July 2025 Can we ever really trust Wade though? Anyone with that amount of shine is sure to have his secrets. 45 I Miss The Old Distractible (Part 2) Episode 4524th July 2025 Back in my day, it used to cost only five cents to watch Mark, Bob, and Wade talk about maggots, beavers, and feces. 46 Oregon Trail Episode 4627th July 2025 3 men, one trail, and a whole lot of dysentery and grandfather clocks. 47 Devil's Advocate (Part 2) Episode 4731st July 2025 It's time for the devil once again to come collect what's owed to him: a strong argument. 48 Fourth of Poo-gust Episode 483rd August 2025 The guys pop a squat and push out some topics for this steaming hot August episode. 49 Record Setting Guessing Episode 497th August 2025 Distractible has officially set the record for World's Best Dad, World's Baldest, and World's Shortest. 50 Size Matters Episode 5010th August 2025 Mark puts Bob and Wade to the linguistic test to see how they can make famous quotes. 51 Hot Takes, Cold Truths Episode 5114th August 2025 Chef Wade Ramsay orders competitors Mark and Bob to the kitchen to cook up some cold-cut truths and sizzlin' hot takes. 52 Draw or Die Episode 5217th August 2025 Mark challenges Bob and Wade to draw for their lives in this Pictionary style game. 53 Hinged or Unhinged Episode 5321st August 2025 No more monkey-ing around, we have bigger fish to fry... then place in the restaurant bathroom. 54 Legend of The Monkey's Paw Episode 5424th August 2025 The curse of the monkey themed episodes continues to linger as Wade gives Mark and Bob some profound choices to make. 55 Hide The Penny (Part 2) Episode 5528th August 2025 You know it's time to search for pennies when Mark strips down and Wade starts speaking French. 56 Drama Alarm Episode 5631st August 2025 The Distractible hosts are ready to take down the other chart-topping podcasts and reclaim their rightful position to number one. 57 Legend of The Monkey's Paw (Part 2) Episode 574th September 2025 Another unsolved mystery that started with $10,000 and ended in a knife fight. 58 What The Hell Is That? Episode 587th September 2025 Bob shares his big diction energy with Mark and Wade in his obscure word guessing game. 59 Anything Goes (Part 2) Episode 5911th September 2025 Mark returns from his weekly hospital trip to warn us all about the dangers of eating vegetables. 60 Let's Get Deep Episode 6014th September 2025 Bob encourages Mark and Wade to jump in the deep end of various topics. 61 Bob's One Man Show Episode 6118th September 2025 Bob encourages Mark and Wade to jump in the deep end of various topics. 62 For Folk's Sake Episode 6221st September 2025 The guys prove that being an adult doesn't keep spoopy characters from attacking if you're naughty. 63 Shame, Shame, Shame Episode 6325th September 2025 A walk of atonement is in order for the long list of people that Mark, Bob, and Wade have deemed the most shameful. 64 The Pee Covered Episode Episode 6429th September 2025 The boys are finally back together again in Ohio, ready to let their streams of consciousness flow out in person. And from the looks of their streams, one of the guys is definitely allergic to Skyline, and another has a severe foot injury. 65 Wade Has An Interest Episode 652nd October 2025 What happens on the Distracti-couch, stays on the Distracti-couch. 66 A Harrowing Journey Episode 665th October 2025 Before Wade hosts a game of "Would You Rather," Mark proves that the journey from Ohio isn't always a happy one. 67 Three Sentence Horror Stories Episode 679th October 2025 Make sure you got the scary tape handy, because you'll need to keep your hairs from standing after this spoopy episode. 68 In This Game... Only Letters, Friends Episode 6812th October 2025 A Distractible episode is worth a thousand words. 69 The Cursed Episode Episode 6916th October 2025 Wade continues to keep the spoopy season in gear by hosting a discussion about bald-chilling curses and legends. 70 The Oxford 3000 Episode 7019th October 2025 Bob returns with another word game that is guaranteed to absolutely destroy Mark and Wade's egos. 71 Nah, I'd Lose Episode 7123rd October 2025 Not all battles are worth winning. 72 World Record (Today) Episode 7226th October 2025 Hiii... 73 Viewer Discretion Is Advised Episode 7330th October 2025 View and listen with caution, because no amount of discretion is guaranteed to keep frog swallowing mouse nut babies at bay... especially tonight... 74 Bob's Top 5 (#2 Will Shock You!) Episode 7413th November 2025 He's making a list, and checking it twice. He's gonna find out who's bald or lacks height. 75 Please Laugh Episode 7516th November 2025 Listeners, you're responsible for this... 76 King of the Friend Zone Episode 7620th November 2025 Having a midlife crisis? Don't worry, the guys will make it all go away... 77 Wade's/Bob's/Mandy's Word Game (Featuring Markiplier) Episode 7724th November 2025 Step aside Bob, there's a shiny new word-smith in town. 78 Anything Goes (Part 3) Episode 7827th November 2025 Alternate Title: "Wade Struggles For 45 Minutes." 79 Get More Faster Episode 797th December 2025 The Distracti-menu specials for tonight are PB & J sandwiches and boiled eggs. And wait until you see what's for dessert... 80 Will It Into Existence Episode 8011th December 2025 Another year is almost at a close, but that doesn't mean that there isn't plenty of balding- I mean... BLESSINGS to acknowledge and short-uh... SURE things to look forward to in 2026. 81 Size Matters (Part 2) Episode 8114th December 2025 The ultimate test of endurance returns as Mark once again puts Bob and Wade to the linguistic test. 82 Squid Game (Even Too-er) Episode 8218th December 2025 The cephalopod confab returns as the guys expound upon what childhood games they'd like to see in their own version of Squid Game. 83 Get Ready For A Lot of Ligolo Episode 8322nd December 2025 The guys alphabetically bring out the Christmas cheer with classic tales of elf prison breaks, fast food snowmen, gigantic Santas, and a whole lot of everyone's favorite character: Ligolo. 84 2026 Distractible Game Guide Episode 844th January 2026 New year, new games, same bald, same 'naise. 85 Make Wade Do It Episode 858th January 2026 Bob and Mark motivate Wade to start his 2026 New Year's resolutions. 86 Wade's One Man Show Episode 8622nd January 2026 The reviews are in, and critics are raving: "Finally! A star that out-shines the rest!" - The Minion Chronicle "If I said I didn't like it, that would be a bald-faced lie." - The Hairless Herald "I can't f**king see!" - Bob 87 Everybody Hates Dor Episode 8725th January 2026 Mark's movie is almost out, Wade finds some time to relax, and Bob introduces his bouncing baby girl, Dor (but who tf cares about her.) 88 Snow Days Episode 8829th January 2026 The guys bundle up for a trip down memory lane and share their (maybe) true stories from snow days. 89 Yeah, He'd Live Episode 891st February 2026 Your favorite Distractible game just got a whole lot more medical. 90 How Do You Pan? Episode 905th February 2026 The "Lost Boys" take a trip to Neverland to share the childhood things they'll never be too old for. 91 Mark's Big Dangerous Word Game Episode 918th February 2026 Is that the piercing sound of an explosion, or Mark trying to sing in falsetto? We'll never know... Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds. 92 Draw Or Die (Part 2) Episode 9212th February 2026 Wade's not bald, he's just drawn that way. Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds. 93 Fortunately, Unfortunately Episode 9315th February 2026 Fortunately, Wade has a new improv game for Bob and Mark. Unfortunately, bald. 94 Bad Mood Episode 9419th February 2026 The three angy boys discuss what turns each of them into grumpy-wumpy-wumpersons. 95 I'm a Doctor! Episode 9522nd February 2026 Don't your worry your precious head, just relax and let the good doctors do their jobs. *Gun Gary walks in* 96 Solar System Tier List Episode 9626th February 2026 Who's that peeping back at you through your telescope? Is it Mupiter? The Death Star Boob? One can only wonder... 97 News Flash! Episode 972nd March 2026 Bob and Wade go into the field to bring the hottest, slipperiest, and trippiest scoops to you. 98 How to ABCs Episode 985th March 2026 Professor Wade "Bald" Barnes quizzes students Mark and Bob on their knowledge of the alphabet. 99 The Smell You Can Lick Episode 998th March 2026 Bob tries to make sense of Mark and Wade's senses. 100 Friday the 13th Episode 10012th March 2026 WARNING: For today only, avoid recording ADR, baking bread, solving math equations, and watching movies starring Will Smith. 101 Dicebreakers Too! Episode 10115th March 2026 Bob brings back a classic Distractible game, dicier than ever. 102 Buy My Thing! Episode 10223rd March 2026 What happened to Mark at the Oscars, and what's that under Bob's shoe? 103 That Sounds Good! Episode 10329th March 2026 What do book fairs, dentists, and summer camp have in common? Well, the bible says... 104 Oxford 3000 AND TOO Episode 1045th April 2026 Bob decides to raise Mark and Wade's blood pressure, to test their already fragile health. 105 Anything Goes (Part 4) Episode 10512th April 2026 Anything is on the table when the horny penguins and metal pipes come out to play. 106 Mark's One Man Show (Part 2) Episode 10619th April 2026 Dear Penthouse Forum, I can't believe it happened to him. 107 That Sounds Bad! Episode 10726th April 2026 Bob and Wade make everything terrible for Mark. 108 Reverse Charades Episode 1083rd May 2026 Quick, get flat! 109 America vs Europe Episode 10911th May 2026 No perfectest crime? Well hey, everyone makes mistakes. 110 The Council Of Distractible (Part 3) Episode 11017th May 2026 Hear ye, hear ye! The council of three declare new laws for thee!